yacketayakking screaming vomiting whispering facts and memories and anecdotes and eyeball kicks and shocks of hospitals and jails and wars,

whole intellects disgorged in total recall for seven days and nights with brilliant eyes, meat for the Synagogue cast on the pavement,

who vanished into nowhere Zen New Jersey leaving a trail of ambiguous picture postcards of Atlantic City Hall,

suffering Eastern sweats and Tangerian bone-grindings and migraines of China under junk-withdrawal in Newark's bleak furnished room,

who wandered around and around at midnight in the railway yard wondering where to go, and went, leaving no broken hearts,

who lit cigarettes in boxcars boxcars boxcars racketing through snow toward lonesome farms in grandfather night,

who studied Plotinus Poe St John of the Cross telepathy and bop kabbalah because the universe instinctively vibrated at their feet in Kansas,

who loned it through the streets of Idaho seeking visionary indian angels who were visionary indian angels,

who thought they were only mad when Baltimore gleamed in supernatural ecstasy,

who jumped in limousines with the Chinaman of Oklahoma on the impulse of winter midnight streetlight smalltown rain,

who lounged hungry and lonesome through Houston seeking jazz or sex or soup, and followed the brilliant Spaniard to converse about America and Eternity, a hopeless task, and so took ship to Africa,

who disappeared into the volcanoes of Mexico leaving nothing behind but the shadow of dungarees and the larva and ash of poetry scattered in fireplace Chicago,
-A section from Allen Ginsberg's "Howl"

stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid
angry hungry tired stupid
confused.
alone.
sad. ..sad?
lost. found. stupid stupid stupid. never doing it right.
fat stupid ugly hungry.
pain all around.
so long farewell.
i will fly up to the clouds.
i will swim out to sea.
i will burn my body.
can't you fucking see me?
im hurt. im alone. im stupid. im sad. so very sad.

North Carolina to New York

No more streetlights.
The bus' headlights illuminate the towering trees while their silhouette shine against the dark sky. Quiet except for the hum of the engine and the breath of the passengers.
Two hours down seven more to go.
The swaying of the bus has a calming effect, the dark of night is intimidating while also intriguing. The road never ends. Gas stations' glow fill the bus, night eyes are stung by this intrusion.
Can't sleep, the only logical thing to do is sleep and i can't seem to conquer that state of timeless pleasure.
What to do what to do...
I watch the trees, I watch the streets,
We race by.
A break in the Trees, the sky is open.
The stars are beautiful. so Bright.
Ten minute rest at a trucker stop and on the road again we go. Alone on my journey surrounded by strangers, making friends wherever i go.
Where did all the streetlights go?
I'm glad they're gone.

"Be good Jersey"

Do you even know my name?
you look at me like you know my secret,
you kiss me like you have been kissing me for years.
do i know you? you are a mute.
speak up.
you walk on eggshells, it makes me nervous.
what are your plans? what do you want?
i can not trust you
i do not know you
i am damaged, unrepairable
leave me be.
no hope in(side) me.

People Watching

While Picket fences line the street
Children play while mothers speak.
The sun fills the sky while the
mud slowly drys.
The cold warmth fills ones
head with the idea of spring
the fallen trees and soaking streets remind them of the season.
Is this a lie or is spring really here?

Drinking air and smoking water, the daily commute is driving me wild.
load the catapults. the world is fighting back.
the air will choke you the water will drown you.
nothing is the way you want it to be. nothing is easy. nothing is free.

All alone in this place you call my home